Friday, June 21, 2013

Who Am I Going To Be Today?

I haven't written a post like this in a long time. I hope you will read this in it's entirety; thanks!  Oh and FYI - I have chosen to alter my photos as I have to discourage unauthorized reuse of pics of my kids :)

I can say with certainty that where ever you are right now and with whatever is going on in your life, it will change! It won't always be like this. Try to see the bigger picture of your days and know that it all passes, usually too quickly! 

Count them folks, that is 8 kids ages 2 to 7, 3 of them 2 yr olds and still in diapers. That's a lot of little kids for a grandmother to wrangle on her own all day! Our bodies are not up to it most times or our nerves. And I don't know about your kids, but these kids are uber full of energy and noise and arguments and crazy wonderful imaginations! And oh the messes they can make.  I don't have this many kids all the time, only on occasion. On days I do though, it kinda turns into a wild kind of craziness that can put me over the edge (literally!) or fill me with joy. How do I know which kind of day it will be? By the choices I make

If I am not careful, my days caring for my grandchildren will find me acting like a Martha and not a Mary. As I write this, they are running all over the house and I am trying to quickly write this down while it is on my mind. It would be easy to turn on the TV and command them to sit there for a bit while I do my thing. That's what me as Martha would do. Mary would patiently be interrupted over and over and deal with what ever situation arose with kindness and love.

If I am not careful, the Martha in me would be annoyed, and perhaps also vocal about it, - when I finally get the chance to actually sit down with some needed food, then immediately hear a call from the bathroom for help before I take my first bite. My Martha tendencies would complain about never getting a chance to eat in peace at all. Mary would put her meal aside and answer the call peacefully and swiftly. 

If I am not careful, messes would make the Martha in me complain about having to pick up AGAIN with my back aching to the point of feeling like there is a fire burning there, all the while - berating the kids for making the mess in the first place. The Mary in me would calmly see the mess as a thing of beauty where happy children played and then employ them to help clean up with joyfulness while counting her many blessings. 

Yes I am a Martha who longs to live as a Mary. My 'to do list', my need to have things ascetically pleasing, my desire to organize and control and do things in a certain order.....need to daily be crucified. Hourly - to be crucified, so that I may live like a Mary inside my Martha skin; blessing these precious children with grace and mercy. Setting an example that I hope is followed, like muscle memory, into their everyday lives with all those they associate with....from now on

I choose how I will be, who I will be like in every situation that comes, moment by moment. Setting an example is hard, make no mistake about that! When I say crucify... that invokes the thoughts of a gruesome sight doesn't it? That's right, setting examples is one. rough. job! But these are little people we are growing into adults! Adults who will one day be in charge of our world. We MUST do it right! 

And don't misunderstand. I am not attempting to allow the kids to do what they want and run around trashing my house! That would not be at all what I am trying to accomplish. I want them to grow into responsible adults who value people and care how they treat them and how they allow others to treat them back. I have high expectations of their behavior and attitudes. Higher at times, than their own parents do. 

Think of yourself as the stone that is thrown into a peaceful pond. What kind of splash do you make in their lives? Big or little? What is the ripple effect are YOU creating? Because once thrown, that stone will enter the surface of their hearts and minds with a splash, big or little. And it will create ripples that will go on, perhaps for a long time, maybe forever! 

So when I took this picture of this happy little guy who had just finished eating a cupcake covered in chocolate frosting, I can be Mary, cropping out the mess and see only that smiling happy face. Martha doesn't see the smile, she sees the mess on his face, on his hands, on the table and floor and wonders why she let him eat that cupcake in the first place. How will she ever get him cleaned up! Martha wants to show you the picture of the table and floor and his hands along with that cute face so you can feel bad for her having to clean it all up. But I am not going to let her show you that pic, nope.....because I am choosing to act like Mary, I just crucified Martha - again ;)

I link at these parties. 

Update: I was looking through some books on Amazon and came across this one. I couldn't resist putting a link on here! I don't have kindle but if I did I would be getting a copy for sure!

 If you are reading this post anywhere else but at then it was used without permission! Please report it! Copyright © Family Home and Life 2010-2013 All Rights Reserved


  1. This is a thought provoking post.
    Although I really do know my Bible stories, I have to admit my first thought was "What would Martha Stewart do?"

    1. You could put Martha Stewart in there couldn't you? It certainly works!

  2. Heavenly nad just what I needed to hear today. Off to be Mary.=) And ditto on Olga's comment.

  3. Hi Connie,
    Love your post. I feel the same way - torn between the two opposite reactions. It isn't easy being a good role model for my granddaughters although I do my best.
    Bye for now, Darlene

  4. As a registered daycare provider, and mother of four - I find myself in this struggle daily! Love this post, as it's something on my heart and mind a lot during prayer.

  5. Thanks for this reminder to watch how we respond. Some days I'm better at being Mary, but I have to admit I struggle with my Martha tendancies too.

  6. Have you linked up with the Friday Flash Blog Linky Party yet? Link up your ONE best post of the week and check out other people's awesome entries. You may just get highlighted next week!

    Jennifer @ The Jenny Evolution

  7. Hello,
    Love this! I'm the mom of 8, grandma to 5 so far. I have 2 of them here today - it adds to the craziness, but I cherish the time we get to spend with them.
    I'm pinning this post - I will revisit it often!
    I found your blog via 5days5ways, I'm now your newest subscriber!

  8. Where were you when I was raising my daughters? I so struggled with the Mary/Martha issue when they were young. There were times I forgot they were children in my quest for perfection. God taught me many lessons during those years. I'm not sure how you "do" all of them at once. My fibro-self hurts just thinking about it. What an impact you are making in these little lives and the generation they are becoming.

  9. You are absolutely right. Setting a good example is not easy. I think it's actually the hardest job as a parent. Thank you for this post.


  10. I think both Martha AND Mary are too black and white and that you can be lucky if you just hover in the grey area most of the time! :) I am also going to link up for SIS a post of the other day called "Grandma Wants One of These" as you were one of the first people that I thought about when I saw it.

    Get their parents to pitch in and buy one and LOL it looks like more Mary time would be on the way ....:)

    What you do is amazing, Connie! :)

  11. You said it perfectly! I love the way you described our behavior as grandmas as either Mary or Martha. I only have 2 granddaughters and usually one at at time and I have slowly come to be more like Mary than Martha. I had to ask myself why I was saying "NO" more than not when there was really no reason to....just let them have fun and make a mess (within reason) and clean it all up at the end of the day. Visiting from A Bouquet of Talent Linky party and following you via GFC!

  12. Hi there! I am co-hosting this week on the Raising Imperfetion Sunday Link Party. Thanks for sharing your creations with us! I hope you found inspiration in all of the terrific posts.

    I host a (Not SO) Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop and a TGIF Link Party at my place -- A Peek Into My Paradise... I would love for you to link up and follow if you like what you see. =) I follow back - I love making new friends!

    I can't wait to see what you link up next week!

    Hugs, Cathy

  13. Thank you for sharing such wonderful encouragement! As a mom of young kids I fall into the "Martha" set of mind way too often. Thanks so much for linking this up to Frugal Crafty Home!
    By the in the world do you find time to blog with all those little ones to care for? I have a hard time and I only have two ;)

  14. As a parent or a grandparent I am sure there are always two sides to look at any situation. This is a great post!!

    Thank you for linking to Raising Imperfection.
    Please come back Friday to see if you were featured. :)

    (¸¤ Lanaya | xoxo

  15. Thank you for sharing at Who Needs a Cape? 's Super Sunday linky! Very inspiring!


  16. Good points And what a delightful photo! Thanks for the excellent "food for thought" (yup - pun intended :) :) :) )

  17. Great post! I absolutely have my moments on both sides.
    Thank you for linking up to Raising Imperfection!
    Make sure to check back on Friday to see if you were featured.

  18. Wow! Writing with 8 running around! I only have 2 and I go through the same struggle daily. So glad you take time to choose how you will react and try to stay positive. It's definitely a hard choice some days!

  19. What a great post and definitely something to think about as you go through your day. I think I need to choose to be Mary more in my life!

    Thank you for spreading JOY and sharing at the Oh What a HAPPY Day party.

    Holly at Not Done Growing

  20. Thank you so much for linking-up at Pin It Monday Hop#14. We appreciate for taking the time to share your post with us. If you have extra time, please stop by and check what other Bloggers are sharing. See you

    Pursuit Of Functional Home

  21. Such a lovely post. I can be a Martha sometimes with my 3 yo. Thanks for opening my eyes!

  22. I can not tell you how much I needed this post today. I am at home with a 3 year old and a 1 year old and I love them more than my next breath and they are so sweet and fun but there are days I don't have the patience I should or don't approach things with a happy heart. Years ago I did a study on Mary and Martha and definitely needed the reminder. Thank you for sharing at All Things Pretty!

  23. Oh my! You were talking to me. Sometimes I rush through blogs, but for some reason you caught my attention and I was meant to read this. Martha or Mary?
    I have to decide some days. When my grandchildren are around I sometimes forget who I should be. Thanks for the reminder of what's important.

    Thanks for linking to What'd You Do This Weekend? We're having a Burger Bash June 29- July 3. Hope you can come.

    Wishes for tasty dishes,
    Linda @ Tumbleweed Contessa

  24. You said it so well! I'm sure many will find encouragement here.

    Thanks for linking up to The Creative HomeAcre Blog Hop. We hope you join us again this Sunday!

  25. I am definitely a Martha trying to live more Mary-like. Thank you for the beautiful reminder. Thanks for sharing at Inspire Us Thursday at Organized 31.

  26. Great post and love the picture of the kids! Cute!

    Thanks for sharing on the BeBetsy BRAG ABOUT IT. We'd love it if you would link back to us! Have a wonderful weekend!

    Sharon and Denise

    Follow us:
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  27. Great post! Very thought provoking and applicable to more than grandchildren! Thanks so much for sharing on Busy Monday!

  28. Great post! I think we all have our Martha moments. Hopefully we are like Mary more often than we are like Mary. thanks for sharing with SYC.

  29. Inspiring and encouraging words...I'm so glad you shared them at the Rock 'N Share! Hope you’ll come again soon! Have a great holiday! Blessings, D@TheShadyPorch

  30. What a fabulous post darlin'. The only one we have the power to control is ourselves and the choices that we make. Thank you so much for reminding me to make the most of what I have and what I do. Choose to be the gracious host and honor what's important. Krista @ A Handful of Everything

  31. GOD bless you and your family


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