"They Said to Wait Here"

I took these pics of the kids about a year and a half ago. These two were sitting opposite my desk waiting for the big kids to come out after being told to wait there. they had such cute expressions on their faces I grabbed my camera and kept shooting. I chuckled every time I looked at these photos so I thought I would have some fun and write a narrative to go with them. Click on the pictures to get a better look at some of the expressions on their faces. So cute! 

Still can't see them? Hold down your Ctrl key and scroll your mouse to enlarge this page.

"Just take a chill pill already. You can hold it"  "Easy for you to say, you are already potty trained! So, been coming here long cutie?"  "Oh. My. Gosh! Hey, don't get fresh!"  "Fresh.....is that the same thing as ripe? Gramps is always saying I'm smelling ripe."

Boys these days...He had better keep that hand to himself..... "Oh! Last chance bubba! I don't like that monkey business!"   "Monkey business! That's so funny! Hey let's say that thing,  you know,  five little monkey's jumping on the bed...."  "You are impossible!"

"Why do I get stuck with you all the time?"  "Stuck with me? You don't mean that, you like me don't you?" "Despicable!" "Awe shucks! I knew you liked me too"

"What are you doing now!?"  "I got this itch..." "I don't think I'm going to be able to take this much longer, when are they coming out?" "Ooops! Well, there I go, smelling ripe again."  "What??? Oh no you didn't!!!"  "I did."

"I think I'm going to cry!"  "Don't cry! I'll try knocking on the door! Hey anyone in there? Help!!" "Oh it's no use! No one is ever coming to take you to the potty and you STINK!!!"

"Sorry, I couldn't help myself."  "Waaahhh! You boys always say that! I'm going to go tell Gramma!"  "Girls, such drama queens. What's a guy to do?" 

I have had a lot of content theft lately. If you are reading this post anywhere else but at Family Home and Life then it was used without permission! Copyright© Family Home and Life 2012 All Rights Reserved

Imaginary Competion

It started at the cutting counter. She was in line behind me and the lady behind her commented on the beautiful choice of fabrics in her cart. “Look how they all coordinate so well, oh I really love this one…” I turned slightly so I could see out of the corner of my eye what she was talking about. The lady with the beautiful fabrics was clearly grandparent age like me but wearing an awful lot of makeup.  “I’m making a quilt for my newest grand daughter” she said and looked at me with a little nod and then raised one eyebrow after looking at the  bolts of fabric in my cart. 

I took note that she was in really good shape for her age in a stylish body hugging outfit; she probably spent a lot of time at the gym. I stood as tall as I could and sucked in my gut. I smoothed down my baggie wrinkled shirt front. I wished the line would move, I was in a hurry as usual. I wanted to get home and get to work. 'Gee, wish I had time to quilt for my grand kids' I was thinking.  'By the time I do everything I have to do in a day, there’s no time left for anything that slow. Work out at the gym? Who needs a work out after a day like mine? Bet I could run circles around her all day!' I felt a bit of an attitude had starting to form.

There were two ladies cutting fabrics today and when it was my turn I was asked what I was making with my fabrics.  Noticing that ‘too much makeup lady’ had now stepped to my right at the counter and was unloading her fabrics to be cut I replied, “I’m making play mats for my grand kids. I have nine of them, grand kids that is. There’s actually fabric here for three different projects, that’s why they don’t all coordinate so well.” Perhaps I was a little louder than necessary. I looked at ‘too much makeup lady’ who had the time to quilt and picked beautifully coordinate fabrics to do so with and smiled, with the bottom half of my face only. She glanced slightly in my direction and did the one eyebrow raise thing again, then gave me the tiniest of smiles. Really I think it was a smirk.

Our cutters were running neck and neck cutting our fabrics and finished at about the same time. My cut fabrics in hand I quickly I wheeled my cart in the direction of the check out at the far end of the gigantic super store. I could hear foots steps right behind me; ‘too much makeup lady’ was hot on my heels. Ha, I thought, I can beat her to the check out. I picked up the pace a little just to make sure I was there first. Oh my gosh! She was walking faster too keeping step with me and started to pass me to my right! Just as I was about to break into a jog she veered off course, taking a shortcut I surmised and I thought that she might beat me to check out after all. Just as I was about to break a sweat I saw her cart coming down the aisle that would intersect with mine.

In the nick of time I shoved pushed right ahead of her. Ha-ha, I thought, you can’t beat me; you are too slow, just like your quilting* projects. There was a long line at checkout and I kept my eyes directly in front of me the whole time. When it was my turn, I glanced around to see where she had gone and noticed that she was also checking out. We nearly collided getting out the door with shopping bags in hand and she looked right at me with eyes narrowed lips thinned to a slit. We started walking towards our cars keeping a close eye on each other’s progress.  She was gaining speed on me and I could not seem to gain any ground! In my car I quickly buckled myself in, put the car in reverse, and without the usual care of double and triple checking behind me I left my parking spot with a little screech heading for the open street.

I didn’t see her anywhere and I was just beginning to feel pretty silly about this whole thing believing I had imagined it all when I saw her speeding down the lane just ahead of me to my left, both hands gripping the top of her steering wheel and leaning forward in her seat. She was looking right at me! I’ve got to block her in and get to the street first was all that I could think of as I accelerated!  She had to brake hard to keep from T boning me on the side of my car. I whizzed by her at double the speed I should have used in a parking lot, but I did it! I made it to the street first and won! Hahaha! I waved out my window as I entered the street; I glanced in my rear view mirror and saw her still sitting there pounding on her steering wheel.

Out in traffic I slowed down to the speed limit and took the chocolate bar from my shopping bag and began to slowly nibble at it, enjoy it's silky smoothness with each bite. With a deep sigh I started humming a little song and began to tap my none gas foot...."if your happy and you know it clap your hands" tap tap.......... life as I know it can be rewarding in so many ways.

* I love quilts, quilting projects and quilters! I truly would love more time to quilt again. Just too busy right now. As you can see this has been posted under Short and Shorter Stories so that means it has a speck of truth and a whole lot of creative license included. I'll let you decided which speck is truth. ;)


If you are reading this post anywhere else but at Famly Home and Life it was used without permission! Copyright© Family Home and Life 2012 All Rights Reserved

I Survived!

Dusk is falling and I am just starting supper. I hear a whoop! And then they descend on us in the blink of an eye, first one bunch then another; the wild natives that live nearby!  A less ‘seasoned’ person would probably feel fear right now. I know I’m in for a wild ride, but fear does not grip my heart as I think over my battle plan. The largest of the tribe is clearly the leader as the others all seem to take the direction from this one. Around and around they go, there’s no chance to move from my present location to safety now as they have me trapped with my back to the stove.

I try to speak loudly to them hoping they will listen to reason. What do they want? I cannot tell as they continue the whopping and.… giggling? I turn back to my cooking; maybe feeding them would bring about a desired behavior so that once again peace may reign. I put down heaping plates of food and drink on the table and attempt to get across to them my meaning; come eat, be filled.

Once they understand what I am telling them they sit in front of their plates and begin eating with such abandon I wonder when the last time they saw food was. The whooping begins again and I try to speak loudly enough hoping they will understand and calm down again. I don’t think they understand English because they don’t respond at all. My energy is draining away, the stamina I once knew as a younger person is gone. I am getting up in years.

Quickly a plan comes to mind and I begin to put it into action. I am moving as slowly as possible so as not to arouse suspicion. My intentions have not been detected yet as I slowly take the top off the ice cream bucket.  Now with all the energy I can muster on a Friday night, I say “who wants ice cream after dinner?” Their heads jerk towards me and I know without a doubt that they understood every syllable! “Me!” they cry loudly over and over again as I begin to scoop heaping spoonfuls into ready bowls. 

 

After their fill of ice cream and more whooping and running for a while, I coax them toward the bathroom and make motions toward waiting tooth brushes and wash cloths (talking is doing no good at all), again there seems to be a lack of understanding. I know one wrong move on my part could cause them to make a break for it and the whooping and running will begin again. I must use all the stealth and expertise of my many years of training for this maneuver to be successful.

At last pj’s are on their little bodies and pillows on the floor are being fluffed and prodded into just the right comfyness; it seems they are beginning to bend under my skillful command. A movie is in the DVD player ready to go. They fuss just a little with each other because “someone’s foot is touching me” but I can tell their heart is just not into it.

All is saved just in the nick of time as I hear my reinforcements parking out in the driveway. I am so relieved and glad I stood my ground and didn’t flee my post. Yes I have earned my good standing with hard work and careful planning.  It was a good mission; I am exhausted but very fulfilled and happy with my performance. Oh yes, there will be more of these wild native outbreaks I’m sure, you can count on it. I’ll keep a close watch and be ready!


Somethimes after visits like this I feel rather proud of myself. It takes a lot of energy, fast thinking, patience, and a sense of humor to survive times like this with the grandkids and want them to come back soon for more. If you have had a fun and crazy visit with your grandkids, I would love to hear about! Send me an email to familyhomeandlife@gmail.com.

I linked this post at GRAND Social at Grandma's Briefs.

Repost of One of My Favs

Below is a repost of one of my all time favorite post, Warning! Junk Mail can be Dangerous! under the label ‘Life’s Like That”. It was one of the very first things I wrote when I first started this blog. So, since I am celebrating this month and want to have some fun with it, I wanted to repost this one, because it is funny! Now it is a little embellished, just so you know!

I had a $10 coupon for a chain department store that came in the mail. It was about to expire so I went to the mall to shop.  Now I never shop at the mall. I really don’t like shopping all that much period. I know that those coupon’s are just a way to get you into the store. But I put my coupon in my purse and determined ahead of time that I will stick to my plan of action: buy 1 or 2 items, perhaps a blouse, maybe some socks, take a quick general look through out the store and get out of Dodge with the budget still in tact.  I don’t want a talking to from the man of the house about spending too much money again.

I arrive and begin my search starting around the perimeter of the store to my right.  About middle way some items catch my eye and I stop to browse and select a few things in my size.  Continuing on and I come to the shoe section and I skip right over the new stock of regular priced items and head for the discount shelf.  Oh the cutest little pair of sneakers, in my size too, covered in graphic art in loud colors and some bling. But I decide they are way too young for me.  Don’t want to embarrass my kids.

I find a few more things then look for a dressing room.  First thing I notice that I need my hair done.  My roots are way grown out.  It needs to be cut too, perhaps a deep conditioning; looks a little fuzzy. I try on a couple things before I find something that fits right. Darn all that left over Halloween candy anyway.  I ‘m gonna lose a few pounds this year if it kills me.  I know, I’ll see about getting a membership at that new women’s exercise place by the hair salon.  The next 3 items look great and I can’t decide which ones I like the best so I decide I’ll get all 3 because after all I have that coupon.

I start meandering towards the check out when I see another discount rack of things in my size.  Such pretty colors out this season! I don’t think I have any of those colors in my closet at all.  I pick out a few more items and head back to the dressing room.  More things fit so nicely and it’s so hard to find clothing that flatter's a ‘fuller’ figure.  Well I don’t shop often and these would go well with the 3 blouses I already have. 

I finally make it to the checkout and hand my coupon and debit card over to the sales girl who hands the coupon back to me because it expired yesterday. Arrrggg…… what to do? Well I just spent all that time finding all this stuff; I can’t just walk out now can I?  I pay for it and start digging in my purse for my phone.  I look up the hair salon number and call for an appointment. Good news! She has an opening later today.  I tell her I want the works, color, conditioning, cut….and heat up the wax.  My mustache is showing, and let’s get the eyebrows too ok? Pedicure, manicure, you have time for that today too?  Sure why not, great!  I’ll come early in case you can get me in sooner.

I drive toward the salon and stop by that new women’s gym, they have the greatest work out equipment you’ve ever seen. It’s just amazing the things they come up with these days to keep us looking good.  Membership? You bet give me the platinum package honey, I just came from shopping at the mall!

That evening I arrive home with a bag of take out for dinner because I didn’t have time to cook with shopping and all.  Honey Bears BBQ, a favorite of the man of the house.  Good thing too, because I don’t think he’ll notice my new hair do, or my fuzz free face.  He’ll pay no attention what so ever to my pink nails or smooth heels.  He will notice the shopping bags, and I’m hoping the delicious aroma from the little one will make him forget to ask me how I spent my day. :)

So you see, those coupons that come in the mail, hold them by one corner and watch it carefully as you carry it to the nearest trash receptacle.  Dispose of it quick because one trip to the mall could cost you more money in ways that you can’t even see coming.

Copyright ©  Family Home and Life 2010-2012    ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

BLACK FRIDAY

Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Here is a cute poem written by a good friend of ours, John Norton, that brings the holiday madness into perspective, enjoy!

It’s a month before Christmas exact to the day, the turkey is over (and oh by the way)

It was a fabulous feed, nine courses and more, we just put fat on our core.

We all might be sleepy, but no one is napping, Midnight is coming and we’d better get cracking!

Survey the papers! Gas up the cars! Let’s look for bargains - we’ll drive near and far!

Black Friday is on us get ready to roll, or stand in long lines (but don’t mind the cold)

At last! Midnight is here, swing open the doors. Try not to get trampled or knocked to the floor.

Bargains that tempt us await in the aisle, they make my pulse quicken and soon I will smile.

As TV’s and iPods, cell phones and more, dolls for the girls and boys toys galore.

Fill up the cart with all kinds of stuff; we’ll survive the madness and the all night crush.

We bought lots of treasures at crazy low prices, spent all our money, have a credit card crisis.

Use all that plastic, a few different cards, load ‘em all up and spend without fear, for

What the heck they might be paid by next year!

No matter at all that we couldn’t pay cash, and that our financial future is now in the trash.

The economy needs me, to what ever the end, the heck with frugality, just spend, spend, spend!

When it’s all said and done and the stores finally close, we’ll pause for a thought, and maybe we’ll know,

that all of this stuff we don’t really need, but we got caught up in a big spending spree!

We just need each other, family and friends, not all that stuff whose use will soon end.

The heart of our being to have and to hold, the love of our family that will never grow cold.

Hello Mountain!

Not far from my house is a little mountain. Hill maybe, I’m not really sure what the correct geographical name for it is.  But I like to think of it as ‘my mountain’. I’m not sure anyone knows this. It’s part of my secret inner life, conversations I have with myself.  Anyway I love this little mountain.  I can see it from my studio window, my living room window, and my dining room window.  My kitchen window faces north and I can see a different mountain through it.  But it’s just another mountain to me, though I’m sure it has a name, I don’t know what it is.  I’ve never climbed it, so I don’t know that mountain as a friend, though it is nice to look at.

My mountain is my friend. I have lived with in viewing distance of it for 20 years. I have always thought it was beautiful to look at. The sun greets me each morning as it peeks over my mountains crest, then turns it bronze and amber; purple shadows filling its gully’s in the fading evening light. In spring wild flowers of every sort cover it in sheer loveliness. Rains wet its rocks turning them to sparkling jewels when the sun comes out. Once it caught on fire, brush and trees burned, later blackened and dead.

Sometimes I can see tiny shapes from my window inching slowly up its face, standing on its peak.  It makes me smile. I know my mountain is happy to have the company and I’m glad for that. I too know the joy of reaching its top.

The times in my life when I have struggled with a difficult place it has been to this mountain I have come.  It welcomes me as I climbed it to work out my sufferings, to offer up my prayers; as I sat upon its rocks, it welcomed my tears.  It held me up as I looked at the world below and realized in the grand scheme of things, my problems are not so big.  

Sometimes I have just walked its trails in the peace and quiet it offers enjoying nature and the rhythm of my heart, the constancy of breathing in and out. At other times I have climbed my mountain as a workout moving over it quickly, earphones in my ears, to burn off those extra few pounds that creep up on me every year over the holidays.

 These days I don’t climb her as I once did. I have neglected her, withholding the gift of my footsteps upon her surface. I have enjoyed her from a far, loving her from my windows. Once I stopped my car at her foot, rolled down my window and whispered a promise, “I’m still here, one day I’ll be back!” She sat there still, unmoving, contented as always just to be.  I admire her for that. Something she has been teaching me these last 20 years. She’s my friend; and I have loved my time spent with her.

Now my days are busy and filled with grand children; soon they will be old enough and then one day I will take them with me for a little visit.  I’ll let them get to know her as I have.  My mountain can be a friend to them too if they choose. So I’ll see you later mountain, we’ve had some times together, and there are many more yet to come.

Warning! Junk mail can be dangerous!

I had a $10 coupon for a chain department store that came in the mail. It was about to expire so I went to the mall to shop.  Now I never shop at the mall. I really don’t like shopping all that much period. I know that those coupon’s are just a way to get you into the store. But I put my coupon in my purse and determined ahead of time that I will stick to my plan of action: buy 1 or 2 items, perhaps a blouse, maybe some socks, take a quick general look through out the store and get out of Dodge with the budget still in tact.  I don’t want a talking to from the man of the house about spending too much money again.

I arrive and begin my search starting around the perimeter of the store to my right.  About middle way some items catch my eye and I stop to browse and select a few things in my size.  Continuing on and I come to the shoe section and I skip right over the new stock of regular priced items and head for the discount shelf.  Oh the cutest little pair of sneakers, in my size too, covered in graphic art in loud colors and some bling. But I decide they are way too young for me.  Don’t want to embarrass my kids.

I find a few more things then look for a dressing room.  First thing I notice that I need my hair done.  My roots are way grown out.  It needs to be cut too, perhaps a deep conditioning; looks a little fuzzy. I try on a couple things before I find something that fits right. Darn all that left over Halloween candy anyway.  I ‘m gonna lose a few pounds this year if it kills me.  I know, I’ll see about getting a membership at that new women’s exercise place by the hair salon.  The next 3 items look great and I can’t decide which ones I like the best so I decide I’ll get all 3 because after all I have that coupon.

I start meandering towards the check out when I see another discount rack of things in my size.  Such pretty colors out this season! I don’t think I have any of those colors in my closet at all.  I pick out a few more things and head back to the dressing room.  A few more things fit so nice and it’s so hard to find things that flatter a ‘fuller’ figure.  Well I don’t shop often and these will go nicely with the 3 blouses I already have. 

I finally make it to the checkout and hand my coupon and debit card over to the sales girl who hands the coupon back to me because it expired yesterday. Arrrggg…… what to do? Well I just spent all that time finding all this stuff I can’t just walk out now can I ?  I pay for it and start digging in my purse for my phone.  I look up the hair salon number and call for an appointment. Good news! She has an opening later today.  I tell her I want the works, color, conditioning, cut….and heat up the wax.  My mustache is showing, and let’s get the eyebrows too ok? Pedicure, manicure, you have time for that today too?  Sure why not, great!  I’ll come early in case you can get me in sooner.

I drive toward the salon and stop by that new women’s gym, they have the greatest work out equipment you’ve ever seen. It’s just amazing the things they come up with these days to keep us looking good.  Membership? You bet give me the platinum package honey, I just came from shopping at the mall!

That evening I arrive home with a bag of take out for dinner because I didn’t have time to cook with shopping and all.  Honey Bears BBQ, a favorite of the man of the house.  Good thing too, because I don’t think he’ll notice my new hair do, or my fuzz free face.  He’ll pay no attention what so ever to my pink nails or smooth heels.  He will notice the shopping bags, and I’m hoping the delicious aroma from the little one will make him forget to ask me how I spent my day. :)

So you see, those coupons that come in the mail, hold them by one corner and watch it carefully as you carry it to the nearest trash receptacle.  Dispose of it quick because one trip to the mall could cost you more money in ways you can’t even see coming.

I linked this post at Grandma's Briefs.

Copyright© Family Home and Life 2012 All Rights Reserved