I Survived!

Dusk is falling and I am just starting supper. I hear a whoop! And then they descend on us in the blink of an eye, first one bunch then another; the wild natives that live nearby!  A less ‘seasoned’ person would probably feel fear right now. I know I’m in for a wild ride, but fear does not grip my heart as I think over my battle plan. The largest of the tribe is clearly the leader as the others all seem to take the direction from this one. Around and around they go, there’s no chance to move from my present location to safety now as they have me trapped with my back to the stove.

I try to speak loudly to them hoping they will listen to reason. What do they want? I cannot tell as they continue the whopping and.… giggling? I turn back to my cooking; maybe feeding them would bring about a desired behavior so that once again peace may reign. I put down heaping plates of food and drink on the table and attempt to get across to them my meaning; come eat, be filled.

Once they understand what I am telling them they sit in front of their plates and begin eating with such abandon I wonder when the last time they saw food was. The whooping begins again and I try to speak loudly enough hoping they will understand and calm down again. I don’t think they understand English because they don’t respond at all. My energy is draining away, the stamina I once knew as a younger person is gone. I am getting up in years.

Quickly a plan comes to mind and I begin to put it into action. I am moving as slowly as possible so as not to arouse suspicion. My intentions have not been detected yet as I slowly take the top off the ice cream bucket.  Now with all the energy I can muster on a Friday night, I say “who wants ice cream after dinner?” Their heads jerk towards me and I know without a doubt that they understood every syllable! “Me!” they cry loudly over and over again as I begin to scoop heaping spoonfuls into ready bowls. 

 

After their fill of ice cream and more whooping and running for a while, I coax them toward the bathroom and make motions toward waiting tooth brushes and wash cloths (talking is doing no good at all), again there seems to be a lack of understanding. I know one wrong move on my part could cause them to make a break for it and the whooping and running will begin again. I must use all the stealth and expertise of my many years of training for this maneuver to be successful.

At last pj’s are on their little bodies and pillows on the floor are being fluffed and prodded into just the right comfyness; it seems they are beginning to bend under my skillful command. A movie is in the DVD player ready to go. They fuss just a little with each other because “someone’s foot is touching me” but I can tell their heart is just not into it.

All is saved just in the nick of time as I hear my reinforcements parking out in the driveway. I am so relieved and glad I stood my ground and didn’t flee my post. Yes I have earned my good standing with hard work and careful planning.  It was a good mission; I am exhausted but very fulfilled and happy with my performance. Oh yes, there will be more of these wild native outbreaks I’m sure, you can count on it. I’ll keep a close watch and be ready!


Somethimes after visits like this I feel rather proud of myself. It takes a lot of energy, fast thinking, patience, and a sense of humor to survive times like this with the grandkids and want them to come back soon for more. If you have had a fun and crazy visit with your grandkids, I would love to hear about! Send me an email to familyhomeandlife@gmail.com.

I linked this post at GRAND Social at Grandma's Briefs.